Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
That accounts for only three of the penises
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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