I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
