you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
