my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Text me some of your sweat
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize