Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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