I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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