I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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