I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
