he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
