he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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