remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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