I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize