I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
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It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
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You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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