a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
These tits shall not be calmed
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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