I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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