well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize