i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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