cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just want nice things and good sex
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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