If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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