i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
