she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
