You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
