nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
