So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
