Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
In America we eat man semen.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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