OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Boobs are out for the taking
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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