Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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