Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
