So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I understand Curling. That high.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize