She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
