hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
