Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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