I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Randomize
