I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Fuck appropriateness.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
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we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
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By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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