11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
