I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
