Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
