I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
