And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize