I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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