I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
