She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize