I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
