Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
