I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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