Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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