i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
