I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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