guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
