So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
