do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just forgot I was standing up.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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