Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
