Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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