I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
