sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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