Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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