I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Randomize
