Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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