last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize