You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
