plz talk dirty to me
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
