so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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