38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
