i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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