He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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